My Story - June 2005

This is the story of the most difficult time of our lives. May the telling of it bring hope to others and help me to heal.

6/22/05 Wednesday 8 am

Last night, for some reason, I began to ask Phil about colon surgery and one thing led to another. It was almost as if I was being used as a instrument of God to set things in motion. Phil was ripe for the picking and immediately began to embrace the idea of surgery and said he would set up an appointment with a surgeon as soon as possible. He even had one already picked out. I did not say that I thought he should get surgery - I was simply asking about it and things began to happen. We both felt scared last night and I cried myself to sleep.

This morning the Lord met me strongly and gave me scripture after scripture. I feel like He is saying that He wants Phil to have this surgery and that He is not only going to heal him physically through it, but He is going to use this experience to heal us emotionally from the wounds of two years ago. It will be painful as we will be walking back through those doorways of pain, but He will take care of us in every way.

I feel like the Lord is telling me that we are to be open and vulnerable and share our needs with the church. He is telling me to ask them to pray specifically for complete physical healing and, just as importantly, ask them to pray for emotional healing from the past. He is showing me who to talk to. And I am to write down the scriptures that He is giving me and give them to the people to pray.

Here are the scriptures:

Do you believe that I am able to do this? According to your faith

will it be done to you. Matt. 9:28-29

He taketh away the first that He may establish the second.

Heb. 10:9

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Is. 35:10

I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up

and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.

Jer. 24:6

Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have

purposed, so it will stand. Is. 14:24

The ransomed of the Lord will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

Everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

And sorrow and sighing will flee away.

I, even I, am He who comforts you.

Who are you that ... you live in constant terror every day

Because of the wrath of the oppressor,

Who is bent on destruction?

For where is the wrath of the oppressor?

The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;

They will not die in their dungeon,

Nor will they lack bread.

For I am the Lord your God,

Who churns up the sea so that its waves roar -

The Lord Almighty is His name.

I have put My words in your mouth

And covered you with the shadow of My hand. Is. 51:11-16

Though you were ruined and made desolate

And your land laid waste ...

Those who devoured you will be far away. Is. 39:19

The Lord will keep you from all harm

He will watch over your life;

The Lord will watch your coming and going

Both now and forevermore. Ps. 121:7-8