9/2/03 Tuesday 7:30 pm
A woman in my Sunday School class, went to heaven last night. I think that’s a much better way of saying it. It was unexpected, even though she had ovarian cancer. She looked fine the last time I saw her, which was about 6 weeks ago.
Today I started working 20 hours a week at the store and it was hard because I know the store isn’t doing great financially and that he is doing this to be kind and also because he doesn’t want to lose me altogether
Phil is about the same, which isn’t saying much. I don’t know whether it’s the prednisone or the depression, but half the time it’s like he isn’t all there. I will talk to him and not be able to tell whether he even heard me because of the vacant stare on his face. Yesterday we worked out a schedule of daily activities for him and that seems to have helped today. He is very much like a little child, needing to be told what to do - even with the most basic things, such as eating and drinking water. It’s very upsetting and I cry almost every day now. In a lot of ways, this is harder than when he was in the hospital, although I don’t feel afraid, just discouraged.
The support system is quieter, mostly invisible, although I know it’s still there. People don’t call anymore or come over. After all, he is supposedly well now. On Thursday we will go to a specialist in Little Rock. I am trying to not expect too much from him.
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