Mini-Vacation

I had a wonderful weekend in Rogers with my kids. Alex taught me how to play Super Mario on the Wii and I cheered as he bowled at a birthday party. Gabriel is super squishy and huggable, can talk and understand what you say now, and I taught him “up” and “down.” Eva inspired me to get the Sunday paper again and use the sales circulars this time, to start using coupons again and keep them organized, to try making bread again, and she helped me figure out which phone to get when I’m eligible for an upgrade (which was actually a big issue). I made homemade crock pot spaghetti sauce for dinner last night and it was a big hit.

Maybe now I'll be able to make it through the last 3 weeks of tax season.

Progress

It appears that the MRSA is responding to the antibiotics! Praise God! We do not think he will have to be hospitalized again. We also got the prostate biopsy results back. The good news is that they didn't see any cancer. The bad news is that there were some abnormal cells, so he has to have another biopsy in 3 months. I am praying that will be the end of it.

When Phil called his boss to talk about when he might try to go back to work, he was told that the are laying off people for the first time in the history of the company and it would be best if he stays on disability for now and lays low for a few months. Upsetting news but clear direction from God and you can't argue with that.

Work has been extremely stressful because I am having to do parts of other people's jobs as well as my own. Tax season causes so much stress that we all have meltdowns. I can't wait until April 15. The payroll person is leaving on April 2 for eight days and I will have to do all the payrolls. I am dreading it because I don't like doing payroll and am not that familiar with it. But I can do all things through Christ.

I am taking off tomorrow after work to go see Eva and my babies because Kevin is on a trip until Sunday night. I can't wait! My emotional margin has been all used up and I am hoping that this time away will help build it back up so that I don't feel like crying when any little thing goes wrong. When Alex was born 3 years ago, I felt like God promised me that whenever I miss him and feel like I can't stand it anymore, He will make a way for me to go and see him ... and He has done just that. Every. Single. Time. I am very, very grateful. Alex and Gabe are the joys of my life. Being a grandmother is the best thing in the world.

Ceiling Fans

Today the doctor put Phil on the only oral antibiotic left to try to treat the MRSA. If this doesn't work, he will have to be hospitalized for 4-6 weeks in order to be treated with I.V. antibiotics.

I asked my boss to figure out how much we need to request to be withheld for taxes from the disability payments and was disappointed to find out that it was a lot more than I thought. This is a hard thing. The whole day was difficult and I was near tears. I was able to talk to my pastor during lunch and he prayed for me and that helped.

This evening, a friend came over and installed a ceiling light kit in my room and a new ceiling fan in the living room. It was the last step in getting new light kits on each fan in the house so that I can actually stand on the floor and change the bulbs instead of balancing on a step stool to remove the globes first. What I didn't count on was the vast improvement in the amount of light in each room.

The fan in the living room was the cheapest one that Walmart had but it's the most beautiful fan I have ever seen! My friend has no idea what he did for me and at just the right time. This ministered deeply to my heart. It sounds like a little thing but it's like the Lord is saying that He still has good things for me in this life ... at a time when it's very hard to see the good because the bad is so big.

A Hard Day

It's been a hard day for Phil. I actually had a good day for once but then I came home ...

It turns out that his staph infection is getting worse so he's going to the doctor tomorrow to see what the next step is. If he needs IV antibiotics, then he might have to go back into a hospital, although for the life of me, I can't figure out which one to use this time. This is the kind of staph that is resistant to antibiotics.

He also found out that they are going to begin laying off people at his work for the first time in the company's history. We don't really know anything yet but we somehow doubt that they will let him go back to work now. So I guess that's that. At least he is on a kind of disability and has applied for Social Security Disability. But it's still going to be hard.

He also found out that his best friend is moving to another state in a few months, back to where he grew up. He has been a good friend and God has used him greatly for us.

It feels like life is over but we've been through this before and things have always eventually worked out somehow. I wish I knew someone on disability that I could talk to but the only person I know of lives in Washington.

I know that God will somehow get us through this too. It's just hard. It's a lot to process.

Rambling

It's been a long time ... and it's hard to start writing again when I've been away for so long.

We only have around 4 more weeks left of tax season and I'm glad because no matter how much you prepare for it, it ends up being brutal. I don't know how the accountants do it every year.

Jesse, our 20 yr. old son, moved out into an apartment about a month ago and it was hard adjusting to an empty nest. We get to see him almost every weekend, which is very nice. I have been fixing up his room for guests, although we all agreed we wouldn't change it very much until he graduates college (just in case). Several years ago, we let him (helped him) paint it black because he had always wanted a black room - even the ceiling! It is black with red trim, so I am trying to add as much white to it as possible ... and it's working! I think it looks very nice.

I got up early today (6:15) and worked really hard on his room and then cleaned the house. I had just finished the last thing when a good friend came over so we could work on her daughters' taxes. It was so nice to see her since she lives an hour away and we don't get to visit very often. It's funny how God can draw two people together in a close friendship even under odd circumstances.

It's now pouring rain and getting colder. We're supposed to get a wintry mix later. Everyone is so tired of winter this year but I feel all warm and snuggly in my clean house.

Phil had a prostate biopsy this week and we should get the results in a few days. He has a nodule in there and half of them turn out to be cancer. I sure hope we don't have to go through that too. He has been going in to work some afternoons (not being paid) just to get used to it again (it's been 8 mos.) and hopes to try to actually work soon but if this is cancer, I can't see that happening. Compared to what we've been through, the cancer itself wouldn't be so hard but his health is so fragile that the treatment would be very difficult. Oh well, it's best not to think about such things before it's necessary.

Yesterday when I got home from work, I started crying in the shower and couldn't stop. I had no idea why I was crying. I think it's just the stress of tax season and everything. It wears you out because you are busy from the moment you get there and you have to deal with people constantly. On April 16, that office changes completely and becomes a different (peaceful, quiet) place.

I have decided to work on some small cross stitches for a while from a book called "Mini-Garden Designs" which has a verse with every design. The first one I'm doing has a basket of fruit and says: "Taste and see that the Lord is good." I thought it was appropriate. I will make them into ornaments, cards, or small pillows and might try to sell some on eBay.

We finally got some disability money last week and bought a riding lawnmower because ours was on its last leg. In fact, I don't even know how it made it through last season. This is my first automatic and it's a beaut! It even has a little cart I can pull. They delivered it a week ago and I spent all afternoon cleaning up the yard and clearing out brush. Only God knows what having this lawnmower means to me. Our yard is about an acre and then I am also trying to keep the field clear, which is almost another acre (although a neighbor does most of that work). This is truly a gift from God's hand and I am very grateful for it.