9/11/03 Thursday 8:30 am
I ended up having a nice birthday yesterday. Phil called me at work to wish me a happy birthday and tell me he loved me. Eva came over with a basket of bath soaps & oils, and then took me out to dinner. That was special. And my mom sent me $100!
Yesterday, I actually dropped Phil off at his doctor’s appointment and went to the hospital to visit a woman in our church who had a hysterectomy! That probably doesn't sound that great, but it was wonderful to leave him and not have to go to every doctor's appointment with him. Plus, I wanted to take every opportunity to visit this woman because I've had a hysterectomy so I know what she's going through, also I need healing and visiting people in the hospital is healing. I grew up around hospitals and have always enjoyed being around them until this ordeal with Phil, so I want to give God every opportunity to heal me emotionally so that I can enjoy them again. I know so many people who are afraid of them. The first time I visited her was really hard because of all the memories, but yesterday it was fine.
9/16/03 Tuesday 4:30 pm
Phil is still extremely dependent on me emotionally. It is very uncomfortable because he is very, very needy. He almost panicked at the thought of me going to a conference with a friend, even though he is now driving more. We had a big talk yesterday in which God convicted me that I had been pushing him as far as work was concerned. I apologized and we prayed together and it was good. It’s so hard to know when to push and when not to. He said that if I hadn’t confronted him about eating, he would still be sitting in his chair not eating or doing anything else. He still cries a lot and is really messed up emotionally, but I think it’s the medicine. He will be on the prednisone for another three weeks at least, so it will be a month until it is out of his system, and I don’t see how he can go back to work before then.
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