Monday, November 21, 2011

My Story - August 2003

This is the story of the most difficult time of our lives. May the telling of it bring hope to others and help me to heal.

8/2/03 Saturday 12:30 pm

Everything is the same with Phil. I felt OK at home but have been feeling shaky here at the hospital. I’ve been thinking about finances. His feet are a tiny little bit better and I’m really glad for that. However, I wonder how many weeks or months he’ll be here and then how many months he’ll be home before he can work. I’m really glad he’s alive but I’m wondering how we are going to live. I wish I could just give it all over to God and not think about it.

I guess I’m feeling discouraged and sad today. I managed to wrap Jesse’s birthday presents this morning. His birthday is Tuesday and it just seems so sad to me. It’s all so sad and scary. We could owe thousands of dollars by the time this is over. We might spend the rest of our lives paying off debt. I feel like crying.

This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you. 2 Chr. 20:15, 17b

5:30 pm

I’ve been here 7 hours and it’s been a long, boring day. He slept a lot and tells people that he’s better, but he doesn’t seem better to me. Dale came and thought the swelling was down. It’s hard for me to tell. Dr. T. came and was talking like it might be months before he can walk again. It was very discouraging and scary to me. I wish I could just stand on scriptures and prophecies that God has given me and have peace. I haven’t even seen Jesse today. I’m glad he likes to be alone. I guess we’ll go to church tomorrow. It’s a little overwhelming to think about that.

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