Thank You

Father, thank You for so many things. You are so good to me. Thank You for always, always showing me exactly when to take Phil to the hospital. Thank You that I wasn’t losing my mind - he really was fairly OK when he got home and went downhill yesterday. Thank You that You have made me into an excellent nurse, even though that was and is the last thing I ever wanted to be. Thank You that, even though I still get scared, You have helped me conquer most of the fear and it’s not nearly as bad as it was.

Thank You for giving me that picture of using the rolling chair to get him to the car and for helping me to do that. Thank You that there was a definite reason to admit him. Thank You so much for lifting a huge heavy weight off of my shoulders. Thank You that I will have another blessed week to rest without him. Thank You that there is actually a reason all of this is happening and with that comes hope that the next time he is released, things will go well. Thank You that they can put him on a feeding tube and he will be strengthened. Thank You that he is local and not an hour away.

Thank You that this wasn’t a surprise to You and that You still have a plan for our lives, as pitiful as they may be. Thank You that my babies are coming tomorrow and that You can give me the energy to get ready for them. Thank You for giving me children or else my life would be so sad. Thank You that You are with me forever and ever and will never leave me alone. Thank You for giving me a financial plan so that I don’t have to worry. Thank You that You won’t give me more than I can handle. Thank You that Janet came and changed Phil’s ostomy and that she gave me crucial information that helped me make the right decisions. Thank You that we will be able to take the maximum medical deduction because I was able to get those bills paid off.

Thank You that even when I can’t feel Your presence and I can’t manage to have quiet time, You are still with me and You love me. Thank You so much for finally taking away the fear that he might not be able to ever work again. I am finally free from that thing that was hovering over me for the past few years because I truly don’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter any more because I know that You will provide for us no matter what. Thank You so much, Lord. Thank You that other people are praying when I can’t really do much of that.