The Visitation

The eldest daughter of some long-time friends died on Wednesday.  This has hit me hard ... because if it could happen to them, it could happen to us.  I have redoubled my effort to pray for my boys and will continually pray for them until they turn back to God.  It would be better to have never given birth than to have children reject God.

Visitation was last night and it was hard to make myself go, but I knew I needed to.  I am so glad I went, because I think that God used me in some small way.  It was a small, homey funeral home and they had her body in the chapel.  A woman handed me a paper with her picture and obituary on it and directed me into the sanctuary.  I was third in line and spent a minute or so with her body.  I remember her more as a little girl growing up.  There was a music video of pictures, so I sat down in the chapel for a few minutes to watch.

The father of the girl came in and saw me after going up to the front for a few minutes.  I went over and hugged him.  He hugged me very tightly for a long time.  He looked completely shattered.  He said she died of a heart attack because she wasn't taking her medicine regularly.  He thanked me for coming.

The aunt of the girl came in and smiled when she saw me.  We hugged and she said that maybe when we get to heaven, we'll finally get together and talk.  I decided on the way home that I don't want to wait until we get to heaven and plan on contacting her in a few weeks.

The mother of the girl came in and we hugged.  We spoke briefly and then she said she had to go to one of her sons.  Over the years, they have adopted 22 disabled children.  I think this was the first time the kids got to see the girl's body.  I think that, as horrible and painful as this is, the mother will be OK, because she has all those kids to take care of.

It just isn't right for parents to outlive their kids and yet, in the 1800's and 1900's, that is exactly what happened most of the time.  Almost every parent experienced the death of at least one child.  We are so sheltered from death now.  I think when you have to face death as a part of life, you are more likely to think about eternal things and eventually turn to God.

I am so grateful that God used me, even in a small way, because that was the great desire of my heart.

Last night our church helped with an elementary school's fund-raising fair.  All the schools do this every year but this school is a "poverty school" and doesn't have many parents helping, so we helped.  I felt so guilty for not joining in but then, in the middle of the day yesterday, I realized that God puts desires in our hearts and shows us what He wants us to do, and I had absolutely no desire at all to help with the fair ... but I had a burning desire to go to the visitation.  I need to stop feeling guilty and let God decide what I should and shouldn't do, because He is in charge of my life and we don't have much time left.